Everyone tells you how beautiful the moment is when you first find out that you are pregnant. It’s supposed to be like in the E.P.T. commercials, right? The man and the woman gaze at the positive test result with big smiles on their faces and then embrace. My experience was completely different.
It was 2007 and my husband and I had just recently moved to Ohio. I had a good job and so did he. We had been married for two years and lived in a rented apartment. Sure, we were grown adults with some level of stability, but we certainly didn’t think we were fit to be parents – not yet.
I never really kept track of my period, let alone ovulation days, so I wasn’t totally sure if I had missed my period yet. I thought I felt signs of my period coming on, like cramping and my boobs were tender. In fact, one day I thought I felt a lump on one of my breasts and swore I needed to get checked for Cancer. (That should show how clueless I was about the reality of being pregnant.)
Finally, after about two weeks of persistent symptoms and no period, my husband and I went to buy a test. Well, actually, he did. It happened just as we were getting home on a Friday night and settling in for dinner. My husband was about to pop open a big bottle of red wine (which we’d surely finish), when I said, “Do you think it’s possible?”
“I don’t know,” he said helpfully.
“Maybe before we polish off this wine, we should find out.”
“OK, I will go to CVS.” And, away he went.
Once he had returned with the home pregnancy test, I went straight to the bathroom. I had had a “scare” a time or two in the past, so this wasn’t my first time peeing on a stick. However, it was the first time I’d ever seen The Plus Sign.
“HONEY!!!!!!” I shouted from the bathroom. “What do the instructions say?!” I was starting to feel anxious and unsure of the result I expected to see staring back at me.
“What?” he asked.
“WHAT DOES THE PLUS SIGN MEAN?!” I came running out of the bathroom with my underwear still around my ankles to take matters into my own hands. I snatched the folded instructions from his hands and quickly saw the picture. + Pregnant – Not Pregnant
I held up my stick to his face.
“So you are pregnant?” he asked?
“I think so.”
Once I pulled up my pants, neither one of us felt much like eating. We were a bit shell shocked. We sat on the couch side by side and didn’t say much, except for stuff like, “we are going to be parents”…“what are we going to do?”…“how are we going to afford this?”…“how will I tell my work?”…
It wasn’t that we weren’t happy. We were just surprised. We were old enough. We were stable enough. We were happy enough. But, becoming a parent is not something to take lightly. I remained in shock slash denial for the first five months I was pregnant.
Finally, by the second trimester, the notion of becoming a mom had set in and I began to truly look forward to the experience. I got excited and the nesting phase followed.
But despite what the commercials will have you believe, not everyone has a joyous celebration upon hearing the news they are pregnant. It’s OK to be scared sh*tless.
- What if you are late but you feel like your period is coming and you have this like fullness feeling but not in your stomach (wiki.answers.com)
- The Menstrual Disorder-Pregnancy Link (everydayhealth.com)